Make America Drunk Again

Let’s be real here.. i’m not going to miss seeing Toby Keith AND Three Doors Down. That being said, I figured let’s make the inauguration fun aka come up with a reason to get drunk & weird.

Step One: 

Get copious amounts of alcohol & solo cups because dishes suck and being lazy is always the way to go… am I right

Step Two:

If you have friends, invite them over. If not, drinking by yourself is always super fun too. Make sure you invite fun friends.. the person who is super political and bummed about the election is just going to be a debbie downer. This is a fun game about drinking.. and the presidential inauguration I guess.

Don’t buy food. Make your freeloader friends pick that shit up.

Now for the game:

Every time Trump said Mexicans: DRINK

Every time Trump says Make America Great Again: DRINK

Every time he refers to his super hot wife: DRINK

Every time you find yourself contemplating how many spray tans he must get to look that orange: DRINK

Every time you see his toupee move: DRINK (let’s be honest that shit isn’t moving I just really wanted to say something about his toupee)

Every time Trump makes this face: DRINK

trump7

.. Or this one

trump5

.. Or this one

US-VOTE-REPUBLICANS-DEBATE

Or this one…

trump6

Or this one…

trump

LOL JK

By now you should be prettttty drunk or at least well on your way.

You’re welcome.

Also, let me go ahead and say I don’t give a single shit about politics. I could care less who is in office and it really doesn’t affect me much unless we get nuked and everybody dies. Other than that, if my gay friends can get married, booze is legal & Netflix stays $8 a month I am alllll gravy baby. Don’t comment with anything negative or your annoying opinions about the election- I don’t care & nobody has time for that shiz.

Keep it weird, friends. Let’s Make America Drunk Again. 

Good vibes only,

XOXO Brandi

How to deal with cuffin’ season being single.

Be naughty, save Santa the trip. 


 

Cuffin’ Season: The season almost every human being on the planet ‘cuffs’ themselves to a significant other for the holidays.. blah, blah.

You know the second you walk into Thanksgiving or Christmas you are going to have to endure an invasion of questions about babies, significant others and why you insist on living at home alone with your cat. I have a few tips. If you’re single during the holiday season and sick of seeing people getting engaged on social media, getting married and having babies:

Step One: Crawl under the covers

Step Two: Stay there

Just kidding. But in all reality, my defense mechanism is to divert the conversation to bunnies, or unicorns.

If you are like me, you can also do my go-to. Stuff a large amount of food in your mouth and just nod at them until they go away. I also will point out the fact that I already have a child, even though he is ten years old, 12 pounds and covered in fur who are you to judge? It totally counts.

Good Vibes Only,

XO Brandi