Still don’t know WTF Bitcoin is…

Is it algebra?

A stock?

Stocks and bonds?

Trading things?

WTF is mining? Sounds complicated.

Is it fake money?

Real money?

Can I buy food with it?

Drinks?

Dranks?

Drunks? Wait… nvm.

Alright though, we get it y’all. You made $5 when Bitcoin hiked for a sec. Stop posting your coinbase links, NOBODY CARES ROBERT.

Also, on a separate, not shit talking note. Is it worth it? I need to know. TELL ME ALL OF THE BITCOIN THINGS.

Make America Drunk Again

Let’s be real here.. i’m not going to miss seeing Toby Keith AND Three Doors Down. That being said, I figured let’s make the inauguration fun aka come up with a reason to get drunk & weird.

Step One: 

Get copious amounts of alcohol & solo cups because dishes suck and being lazy is always the way to go… am I right

Step Two:

If you have friends, invite them over. If not, drinking by yourself is always super fun too. Make sure you invite fun friends.. the person who is super political and bummed about the election is just going to be a debbie downer. This is a fun game about drinking.. and the presidential inauguration I guess.

Don’t buy food. Make your freeloader friends pick that shit up.

Now for the game:

Every time Trump said Mexicans: DRINK

Every time Trump says Make America Great Again: DRINK

Every time he refers to his super hot wife: DRINK

Every time you find yourself contemplating how many spray tans he must get to look that orange: DRINK

Every time you see his toupee move: DRINK (let’s be honest that shit isn’t moving I just really wanted to say something about his toupee)

Every time Trump makes this face: DRINK

trump7

.. Or this one

trump5

.. Or this one

US-VOTE-REPUBLICANS-DEBATE

Or this one…

trump6

Or this one…

trump

LOL JK

By now you should be prettttty drunk or at least well on your way.

You’re welcome.

Also, let me go ahead and say I don’t give a single shit about politics. I could care less who is in office and it really doesn’t affect me much unless we get nuked and everybody dies. Other than that, if my gay friends can get married, booze is legal & Netflix stays $8 a month I am alllll gravy baby. Don’t comment with anything negative or your annoying opinions about the election- I don’t care & nobody has time for that shiz.

Keep it weird, friends. Let’s Make America Drunk Again. 

Good vibes only,

XOXO Brandi

Living My Dreams.. Well, almost.

I’M ALIVE!

I haven’t been able to post because I have been putting all of my effort into S&FW, my new boutique! Quick back story: this is something I’ve wanted to do for SO long. I noticed I was surrounding myself with a lot of people with ‘ideas’ but none were actually executed. So I did it. I bit the bullet and with some extra money from a paycheck I filed for my business license. From there it was uphill. I applied for about 8 loans, and because of some stupid things I pulled in college, they all got declined. I was back to square one. Kinda hard to get inventory with no monies… So, it started at about a 10k purchase order, and I had to ween that down to $1500. I filed my taxes, got back my return, and instead of paying off my credit cards (whoops) I decided to take a chance and buy inventory for the store. When I got everything in it was a rush. Had to schedule a photoshoot- had to make up descriptions and enter all the products online, enter tax rates, shipping, etc. With the help of some amazing people, both local photographers and my beautiful friends (aka the modelz) everything was finally starting to fall together. A lot of sleepless nights, and working after work to wake up and go to work again, it launched. I have never felt such a sense of pride and happiness in anything I’ve done. I was SO OVERWHELMED by the support I received upon launch from my friends, family, and even people I haven’t talked to in forever! It was incredible. People ask me what I’m doing on my lunch break (at my day job) and I’ll tell them shipping orders out. While they think this sounds horrible (and I admit it isn’t the most exciting part of the business) I am so motivated and excited to do it. It may not make sense to most, but hey, idgaf. It’s my baby and I can’t wait to see how much it grows in the coming months!

So that’s where I’ve been. I’ve added some shots below of the product line- check it out. I’ll be back next week with a new, witty, opinionated post about something totally unrelated. BUT SERIOUSLY CHECK DIS SHIT OUT.

sandfw.com ❤

Good Vibes Only,

XO Brandi

 

 

Tinder for Girlfriends?

–So, I’ve heard a few people ask, why isn’t there a Tinder for girlfriends? I’m really curious why there isn’t. Like oh you watch Scandal? Me too. Your house or mine? You like red or white wine? Done.

But then I think of how girlfriends are these days and I realize why there isn’t. You can’t really trust anybody.

Maybe I’m biased, but if somebody I hold close is stranded on the side of the road in South Carolina, you’d better believe I’m going to get out of bed and go pick your ass up.

I hate how society has these standards of how girlfriends are, what they talk about, etc. I don’t have small talk with people that are part of my tribe. We have empowering conversations. We don’t talk behind each other’s backs, we have them covered if anything. Women empowering women, why isn’t there more of that shit?

These days some girls have become so catty, surface, and play dumb for attention because that’s what a man wants. Or at least that’s what you may think. I don’t care if my independence and intensity intimidates a man. If you can’t handle me, it wasn’t meant to be.

And no, your party friends are not your ‘good friends’ UNLESS you hang out outside of clubs and bars, and they know things about you others don’t. Unfortunately, most of your ‘party friends’ don’t know much at all about you, they are just a pretty face to go out with. It’s sad how surface things have become and I personally would much rather have a close knit group of friends who I can talk about life, business, goals, and self-growth ideas than ten thousand acquaintances ANY DAY of the week.

Women have been taught to be subdued in society and I’m loud and proud that I haven’t conformed. I’m not a crazy feminist, or anything. I’m just saying… us as women should look deeper and find those good connections that are going to help you grow as a person. Set goals, have a support system.

Women Empowering Women. Hell yeah, I support it. We need more of that.

Good Vibes Only,

XO Brandi

FASHION DIARIES || Baby, it’s really, really, super cold outside.

So, winter is in full swing here in “HOTlanta” (yeah…ok.) So you know I had to GTFO. These are some of my winter looks, along with some from my little weekend getaway to Miami (why isn’t it called HOTami or some shit..? You know, since it actually always IS HOT AS HELL down there.) Just wondering. Anyways, see below for some fashion inspiration for all my fashionistas. Since i’m super trendy and all.. Go with it.

Good Vibes Only,

XO Brandi

 

The “L” Word in Today’s Society

So, what is love? What does it entail? 


The reason I ask is because I have always been told different things. I have also been told different theories as to monogamy, and how it’s unnatural. Am I the only person who thinks that’s bullshit? Yeah, I get it. It’s how we were created. Cavemen ended up sticking it to all of the ladies to make lots of babies. But love isn’t that. I think love is when you don’t want anybody else. Would do anything in the world to make that person happy. Love is being willing to put your life on the line for another person because you think they are that worth it. If you have a wandering eye, you ARE NOT, I repeat are not in love.
Societies standards these days objectify females and make them out to be women who sleep with men for lavish trips, etc or just downright sluts. NEWSFLASH: that is not a woman. That is a girl. Take care of yourself before anybody else and NEVER let a man pay your way. Always have your own back. Women work hard, work more, do anything in their power to make sure #1 is taken care of first, and don’t have time to deal with how you can enhance their life with your jet, or the wad of cash in your pocket. Women don’t care because they don’t need you. They know their worth.
I want my door opened for our first date. I want to be picked up. I want you to pick up the tab (don’t take that wrong, I will always offer) because it’s the thing your mothers should have taught you to do. No, I’m not going to kiss you or sleep with you on the first date. No, if I meet you in a bar I’m not going to give you the time of day because we ALL know what you’re most likely there for. No, I’m not going to join a site like tinder that objectifies women to the extreme. I believe there is still chivalry, you’re just dating assholes. That’s the difference between a girl and a woman. Girls play games and make men crazy. Women demand respect. I would choose love over money any day. Would you?
Good Vibes Only,
XO Brandi

 

Company Christmas Party DO’S & DO NOT’S

Better late than never, right?

DO:

  1. Wear a super revealing dress. You know, leave nothing to the imagination.
  2. Bring your dog (at least dress him in a nice sweater.)
  3. Bring like seven people. Show up and yell “SQUAD” as loud as possible.
  4. Definitely get hammered.
  5. Get your dog hammered.
  6. Tell everybody how much you love the ‘Lardassians.’
  7. Scream “I WON!” after every drawing… even though you definitely didn’t.
  8. Flirt with your boss, always turns out well the following Monday.
  9. Eat ALL THE FOOD. All of it. Ask your boss for tupperware for the rest.
  10. Trash talk your boss after flirting to your co-workers.
  11. Post all your co-workers every move on social media
  12. Make it into a karaoke party. You got this, girl.
  13. Dance like nobody is watching. Seriously.
DO NOT:
  1. Regret anything
  2. Or take my advice, ever.
And for your viewing pleasure, I have added photos of my recent company holiday party. And yes, I dressed my dog in a nice holiday sweater.
Dress: @missguided
Belt: @missguided
Shoes: @valentino
Watch: @michaelkors
Photography: @chelseapatriciaphoto
IMG_8941
Dress @Missguided | Starring Nugget’s Ass.
IMG_8937
Dress @Missguided | Belt @ Missguided | Shoes @Valentino
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Shoes @Valentino
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Shoes @Valentino
IMG_8216
Getting Ready
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Pregame @Moet #vintage
IMG_8890
Pregame @Moet #vintage

How to deal with cuffin’ season being single.

Be naughty, save Santa the trip. 


 

Cuffin’ Season: The season almost every human being on the planet ‘cuffs’ themselves to a significant other for the holidays.. blah, blah.

You know the second you walk into Thanksgiving or Christmas you are going to have to endure an invasion of questions about babies, significant others and why you insist on living at home alone with your cat. I have a few tips. If you’re single during the holiday season and sick of seeing people getting engaged on social media, getting married and having babies:

Step One: Crawl under the covers

Step Two: Stay there

Just kidding. But in all reality, my defense mechanism is to divert the conversation to bunnies, or unicorns.

If you are like me, you can also do my go-to. Stuff a large amount of food in your mouth and just nod at them until they go away. I also will point out the fact that I already have a child, even though he is ten years old, 12 pounds and covered in fur who are you to judge? It totally counts.

Good Vibes Only,

XO Brandi

Holy Selena

So can we please talk about Selena at the #VSFS? Holy sexual. And yes, I know I’m a little behind. So, I’ve added some links at the bottom on some cheats to get the strappy front of any top or dress you want! 

 

Good Vibes Only,

XO Brandi

9 Gifts to get literally nobody, ever.

Unless you’re into this sorta thing.

enhanced-19206-1449087857-6
In case you love pizza, but also Christmas
AOPBGUAPT_Poop_Emoji_Mockup_1024x1024
Who wants a shitty nights’ sleep?
AOPCM0476UBCAPT_Doge_Mockup_1024x1024
Wut.
AOPCA0023UAPT_Bacon_Cat_Mockup_16fb841e-1e43-4eec-9cd3-ecd8969b0033_1024x1024
Because bacon cat.
CKSFP0005U_Fruity_Pebbles_Mockup_1024x1024
I’m sure you ravers will love this though…. it will match those ridiculous fur boots.
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Cat Nirvana. That is all.
king_hamster_phonecase_1024x1024
Who even has an iPhone 5 anymore?
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#harrypotterforlife
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For all you grammar correctors out there… You’re welcome. FYI yes, correctors is a word.

If you’re EXTREMELY strange and want a shirt with Albert Einstein on acid, feel free to get all of the above merch at rageon.com

… Which, I unfortunately will not be visiting again anytime soon.

I’m a weirdo, don’t get me wrong. But I think this is a new low.